“Where You Left Them” is the podcast from dadhugsforyoursoul, the relationship repair and self-help phenomenon run by Harry on social media, with tens of millions of views each month.
dadhugsforyoursoul has helped thousands of people to solve their painful relationships, walk away from the wrong partner situations and - most of all - build themselves up with practical advice they can carry into more fruitful relationships in the future.
“Where You Left Them” makes those relationship stories and Harry’s advice even more real. This podcast gives you honest stories - extraordinary stories - and shares Harry’s insights, live.
In this, the last story of our first season, we meet Rosy; 43 years old, married with a family, living a nice, normal life. Except she isn’t, she’s living a lie and keeping a huge, devastating secret from her husband. Unforgiveable confessions flow and we are left feeling horrified for him. The huge twist that follows leaves everyone in shock, betrayal comes in many forms and this time it is Rosy on the receiving end. What do you do when you discover something you are not supposed to know, from a person you are not supposed to be with?
Listen to find out whether we manage to reach agreement on the most shocking listener submission yet...
What is a truth about your dating life that you had been pretending NOT to know while you were dating? This one made us BOTH uncomfortable (check out the body language!) and after some poorly chosen words, Emma admitted that she had tried to shape herself to “fit” the people who “liked” her, truly believing that no one would really want her. Yes, she’s come a long way hasn’t she? Harry, well he spent years pretending he wanted a relationship when he really didn’t - trying to convince himself first and then, convincing the women he dated. Thankfully he came to the realisation that this is a terrible way to live and he too, has come a long way!
This is a hard question and therefore a really good one to ask yourself! PLEASE let us know in the comments your own hard truths: they will not be as bad as ours (especially the ones we spoke about off-air!!)
This week we want YOU to join in with Emma and use our Healing Tool of the Week, the Physiological Sigh. The physiological sigh is a breathing technique that involves a double inhale followed by a long exhale, used to rapidly reduce stress and anxiety. This method utilizes the body's natural sigh reflex to clear carbon dioxide from the lungs, which helps to calm the autonomic nervous system, lower heart rate, and promote relaxation. Emma will be sighing away (and filming it) and if you can, we’d love you to give it a try and let us know how you get on. Here’s how to do it:
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I wanted to add something to the perspective regarding Rosy’s story. There was very little mention of her husband’s best mate and his actions as her husband’s best friend. He had probably quite a bit of personal information besides the cancer about what this man was doing and his feelings towards his wife. I know from experience sometimes men will use that as a form of manipulation. Because when you know when somebody is starved for love or not being treated right and you give them bits and crumbs, they’re more likely to give you what you want, which in his case was probably sex. I say this because of my last relationship, his friends would openly come up to me and say you deserve better than him. If you were my girlfriend I would treat you …….XYZ. He doesn’t appreciate you. You should be with me. Things like that, including even sometimes calling out behavior that I had no idea about in an effort to gain ground with me. I’m not saying what Rosie did was right but I don’t think she’s the only one to blame here. If you throw crumbs at a starving person, they will reach for it every time.
Yes, I agree.
I could be WAY off here, BUT is it possible that Rosy's husband had been unfaithful first? One of the signs of testicular cancer can be swelling of the testicle... which could also be a sign of a Sexually Transmitted Infection. Is it possible that while he waited for a proper cancer diagnosis, he panicked because he thought it was an STI? I'm just wondering if Rosy noticed any signs of a swollen testicle before he left her? Perhaps Rosy and her husband were not being intimate? Sorry if this is a stretch. I was just wondering... as I do!
This story is more sad than shocking to me. Seems like all people involved live their lives alone, focused solely on their own emotional needs, their social roles (wife and husband/parent/friend) being something they do not really identify with. Their actions are emotionally immature and morally wrong but all have the same denominator - loneliness. Contrary to the popular belief, I think that Hell is a very cold place. Hope they’ll find their way out. 🩵
Weirdly I didn't feel shocked by this story, but then I grew up in a family where there were weird dynamics and other people people were often involved in my parents relationship. I've also had a friend who did something similar with her husbands best friend . . . His wife communicated with her to end it so she could hang on to her man. I guess it's more common than we think. I think there is alot more to this story than meets they eye. I feel I need to know more about Rosie's relationship with her mother and her husbands relationship with his best friend. I have a suspicion husband and wife communicated with each other through 3rd parties rather than dealing with each other as a matter of course in their relationship and were "using" the closest person to their spouse as a means to punish each other. I suspect the Husband knew she was cheating, or perhaps not with his best friend and in some attempt to exert some control over the situation used his Cancer to isolate her. It must have been incredibly hard to get that kind of diagnosis and the risk of losing your sex drive at a time when you suspect your wife is cheating. My own Mother is guilty of betraying me in similar ways so I know not all Mother's have their children's best interests at heart. She accused me of cheating with my childhood sweetheart when I was 15, when he had a girlfriend, even though we were only ever friends, meanwhile she was cheating with my Step Dad who already had a girlfriend. I found this out recently when I accidently met the woman they cheated on. (It was mortifying and vindicating all at the same time!) I wonder what tje Mother's agenda is/was. Is she trying to hurt her daughter by destroying her marriage or exert her own powerplay in the dynamic? I agree that everyone in this situation needs therapy and that the couple would perhaps be better off separate, but the I also know some couples thrive on the thrill of the game regardless of the carnage they leave behind them. I think there is so much more to this story than Rosie has confessed, but that all parties have a share of the guilt. I think you both shared that beautifully without being overly judgemental.Poor Emma looked like she might pass out with indignation.😅 🤗💛🌻
Hi Harry and Emma,
I am playing catch up again! I just wanted to say how Chloes story resonated with me. Different scenario but the lack of presence from her partner hit hard. My soon to be ex husband never want to do anything together, there was always some paperwork he had to do, or a fence to be built etc. Trying to persuade him to go away with me was a huge battle. I would pay for it, book it, plan it, pack etc and he would just attend. We're talking 2 or 3 nights away somewhere within an hours distance. When we were together he'd be on his phone or fall asleep, if we went for a walk he was 10 paces ahead. I felt so lonely and now I am looking back with a different perspective and without rose tinted glasses I can see I was never the priority, I was fighting for that breadcrumb, for that moment when he would actually be present and see me. I'm sure many people have the same story and it does make you feel slightly better knowing you are not alone. Thank you for all you do. Big hug, Sarah 'G'
I wanted to add something to the perspective regarding Rosy’s story. There was very little mention of her husband’s best mate and his actions as her husband’s best friend. He had probably quite a bit of personal information besides the cancer about what this man was doing and his feelings towards his wife. I know from experience sometimes men will use that as a form of manipulation. Because when you know when somebody is starved for love or not being treated right and you give them bits and crumbs, they’re more likely to give you what you want, which in his case was probably sex. I say this because of my last relationship, his friends would openly come up to me and say you deserve better than him. If you were my girlfriend I would treat you …….XYZ. He doesn’t appreciate you. You should be with me. Things like that, including even sometimes calling out behavior that I had no idea about in an effort to gain ground with me. I’m not saying what Rosie did was right but I don’t think she’s the only one to blame here. If you throw crumbs at a starving person, they will reach for it every time.